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Time:01:28 pm
Hey,

I'm working on my china documentary. Carole's in San Diego. I'm painting Matt's room tomorrow.
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Current Location:Still Dunhuang, China
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Time:10:57 pm

After you die...
Purgatory



After death, you will exist in purgatory. It's so-so, I heard.





Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


P.S. - I really am doing fine, the reason I only posted that long depressed babble is because I just got off of a month long coming hotly anticipated phone call that left me questioning a lot. But I'm having a fuck awesome time, i still can't wait to get back and start real life (ish).
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Current Location:Dunhuang, China
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Subject:Depressed in China
Time:10:22 pm
Current Mood:okayokay
My mother is such a fuck up. What the fuck does she think I do for money? Where does she think I live? Why do I have to sit on the phone and listen to her magical mystical bullshit?

She is a sick sick woman, with no hope of ever returning to the real world. In fact, she was probably never there. All my endless conversations, trying to rationalize her into saniety, I've realized are only for my entertainment. She doesn't understand.

I hate religion. Religion fucks people up worse than heroin addictions and LSD overuse. I hate listening to my Mom's religios banter. It's the one fucking thing that still makes me sick to my stomach. What am I supposed to do, I can't be happy around her. She talks about being close with me as if it were a happy dream in her head that God prohibits for some holy reason.

She's on new meds. No seizures. Okay, yeah honestly, what the fuck, I'm so distant from it anyway, I don't know, it makes me queezy.

To make matters worse, Danielle's mom is keeping my cat and the whole family hates me.

I'm in fucking China all alone, and she fucking hangs up on me like I'm a problem. You know what, Fuck you- I almost started crying in front of a room full of Chinese internet gaming nerds. fuuuuuuck THHHHHAAAT. Keep the cat. Fuck you, you don't know what it's like, and if you did you've forgotten you power hungry queen. piss on that. and take it.

Donkey meat yellow noodles in Dunhuang is really really tasty.

It's really frustrating honestly, not to be able to have someone who can really understand all the things you're telling her, so I stopped talking about my dreams and goals and plans and feelings because she only gets about 1/8 of it anyway and I feel so empyty afterward. Plus, if she gets me angry and I start shouting or saying anything not "fluffy anf happy" she gets confused and I have to remember I'm talking to a baby or the nurses yekll at me and I get embarraqsed. I'm really not mature enough for this yet. Although China alone has helped a lot.

I'm picking up more Chinese than I thought I would, if I was staying here longer it would get easier and easier but I'm getting really homesick, at the same time, I know that the destination is less important than the journey and so even when I get home I'll still feel homesick...
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Time:06:32 pm
okay i guess i'll stay. but only because i have such wonderful friends.

PUSSY
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Time:02:54 am
i think I'm officially killing my live journal. Then again, I might change my mind.
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Time:02:34 pm
do do do doot do do do do doot do do do do doot do do do do doot doot doot doot
bun-ump bun-ump cha bun-ump bump bun-ump bun-ump cha bun-nun-nun-nun-nun-um
do do do doot do do do doot do do do do do doot doot doo doot doot doot doot doot

NAME THAT TUNE FOR TWO CIGARETTES.
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Current Music:this is awesome
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Time:03:08 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
happy valentine's day, fags. hope all y'all have been eating chocolate and having orgasms cause if that's not what life's about then I dare any one of you to run up to me on the street and strike me in the fanny with a ping-pong paddle glued to a petrified beaver.

I found an apartment. It's about four blocks away from my house. Mmmm... door.

For Valentine's Day, Chris got me a producer and a crew of 10. So, basically the best valentine's day ever...
good-bye stress. Hello pastries and blankets and big pieces of paper and black hair and fountain pens.

Who wants to go bowling & get milkshakes and nachos?
Who wants to see "The Gates" in Central Park?
Who? Who? Vagina?

Go!

Thursday i went to Rebecca & Luke's. Sum kinda party. I blew dat shit up. hung out with gina, fernando and thai. benji showed up at around 11pm and then hole-E-shit!!! i stayed up all night. next day - work (bought a frappacino, had four sips, got sick, hated myself for spending $4 on that shit, threw it out and resolved never to give that mermaid bitch mah money ever again), then Chris' place, hung out with people. i passed out at midnight. new day we took a trip to jersey city to hang out with jae, aaron and his gf kianna. we watched the live action fantastic four movie. then we watched Dr. Strangelove. in the morning, I made Egg in the Hole.

i painted my toenails red... Fuck you.
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Subject:Who Mistook the Steak for Chicken?
Time:05:20 pm
Joanna brought her Parliment Light to her lips.
"Enjoy your Cancer Stick." Robin promulgated in the present tense.
Moments before he had been thinking about the fact that they were walking, walking and talking, chatting away as if they hadn't a care in the world. But they did have cares, deep cares. God I fucking love being a track star He thinks.

to-night is a good night is a fine night for... visiting benny in the hospital.

get well benisaur!
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Time:08:14 pm
okay, so i have to figure out some stuff with my life/schedule before i can continue living.
responsibilities:
1. Major American Writers- a novel per week, two papers, class twice a week @ 9:30am, meaning wake up at 7am.
2. Political Theory- book a week, two mini essays, one paper, class three times a week
3. Production Center- twice a week from 9-5pm
4. sound post three times a week, mondays 4-6, tuesdays 2-6, weds, 6-9.3pm
5. COLOR-SYNC "once-a-week" but basically the reason for my existence for the next few months, work, think, eats, sleep color sync 6-7 days a week. need to do another draft, need a producer, dp, & sound op.
6. Moving/finding new apartment/selling furniture & dogs

okay so i can' t lose any of my jobs, they bring in the bacon. i was considering dropping MAW so i could get more sleep and have less work to do later on when I'm planning my color sync. i have until tuesday to decide. i really dig the class but the workload will probobly end up overwhelming my schedule.
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Time:06:32 pm
tell him to call me.
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